guy- "Don't anger the little ones, they have madness in their eyes!"

girl- "Really? Well you're just a malto!"

guy- "Why would I have a weiner bowl?"

guy- "This broom, I swear!"

guy- (whispering to a girl) "Jack off in your brothers room."

guy- "Okay! Now I smell like skin!"

guy- "Why is there blood on the seat?"

guy- "Why don't you just bring bubble wrap to school?"

guy- (to another guy) "Hey ____, can I put my hands in your pockets?"

guy- "Hey, you got a big book bag girl!"

guy- "I HAVE A BIG, BLACK.... labradoodle."

girl- "Date your tits."

setting: at a concert rehearsal, everyone is quiet

girl- "JELLO BUTT!"

setting: Oktoberfest, a lot of drunk people around

guy- (very, very drunk) "hey, can i try that vuvuzela?"

girl running the stand- "If you put tour mouth on it, you have to buy it."

guy- "What if I use a condom?"

guy- "There! I rubbed it on my nutsack!"

Sorry for the lack of updates, I don't have any school on the weekends so I can't post quotes. Well, I could if I heard any. Also, there weren't any on Monday, i was extremely busy and didn't have time. I'm trying to keep this as a daily thing and I'm trying my best in order to do that. Enjoy some more quotes and I encourage some feedback on if there's suggestions or anything.

-KC

guy- "Wave at the old man *dangit*!"

guy- "Shut up or I'll Saran Wrap your face!"

girl- "Is that a butt?"

girl- "You look like you're in the mafia."

guy- "Walmart has a lingerie section? YES!"

guy- "Armadillos lurk in your toaster..."

setting: a very quite classroom, evryone's working in small groups

guy- "I BEG TO DIFFER!"

guy- "I'm gonna go take a piss and when I get back, we're going to talk about The Mighty Ducks."

teacher- " ___ eats two icecream cones every hour, what's the constant?"

girl- "Fat."

boy- "He was, like, squeezing his nipples, 'It hurts when I squeeze my nipples!' "

girl- "A fifteen pound cat fell down twenty stories..."

boy- "fat cat."

teacher- "So here's some relationship advice. For girls, think of guys as buses. And for guys, think of girls as buses."

guy- " 'Cause we gonna ride 'em?"

teacher- "NO! I was going to say that when one leaves another one shows up! Leave it to ____ to make everything dirty."

girl1- "Do I smell like cat pee?"

girl2- (holding out a bottle of perfume) "A littlt bit. Here, use this for your cat pee-ness."


quick note: now read it outloud to yourself again...

girl- "I thought you said to scratch off my titties!"

random kid across lunchroom- (chucks full milk carton across cafeteria, lands on the guy sitting next to me) "WHOOOO!"

guy next to me- "what the *freak*!?"

a girl- "And I was like, 'If I can't have your babies I'll die!' "

teacher- "So next time your parents ask you a question, take about 10 seconds to think about it and come up with a smarter answer."

a girl- "But then they'll think we're lying!"

teacher- "Not if you always tell the truth, do you lie to your parents?"

basically the whole class- (all at once) "YEAH! OF COURSE!"

a guy- (obviously under 21) " Yeah, my parents will let me smoke all the time but they won't lemmie drink, they're such ***s!"


quick note: not sure about this word, it's not a profane word, but I dont want anyone to be offended so this is as close as I'm getting.

a guy- "we're waitin' on the bouchi!"

setting: early in the morning, in the almost silent library

random kid in library- (yelling) "MEL GIBSON!"

I thought it might help understand what I'm trying to tell you if I showed the composition of the quotes. They should look something like this:



setting: blah blah place, blah, what it's like, blah blah.
    ^
I may not put this in the post all the time, just when it's necessary for you to understand


guy/girl/whoever is talking- (if they're yelling or doing something, it will be in the parenthesis) "Blah blah blah, talking *if there's a profane word I will change it and put it in the stars* blah!"




That's as detailed as the comp. gets, and if it's a conversation it will be the same thing just more of the  ' whoever- "blah!" '.

-KC

Hey! I thought I should tell anyone who's reading this what this is all about and what will be posted. This is the product of many odd things that we hear others say, we want to share them with you and hopefully get a few laughs out of the process. What my secretly hired
Team and I do, is we go about our normal business listening for anything from our classmates that stands out as weird or funny. We try to be as discrete as possible when retrieving these quotes, writing them down on worksheets, scrap paper, or a small notepad, so that no one notices. Then my Team reports back to me and I post it for you to enjoy. There won't be any names posted in these just in case you may know us or the people so kindly giving us the wonderful words. There also won't be any profane words in these posts, I'm not saying that the quotes themselves didn't originally have these words in them, I'll probably just change the word and put it in stars or something to that effect. Feel free to ask questions and make suggestions, I will be reading the comments. I hope you like all this stuff, there should be plenty of it!

- KC